Which came first the intestine or the tapeworm?
William S. Burroughs
Found in the email inbox:
How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before
you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or
understand a word they said?
I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of
cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.
Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever.
Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber &
dumber every year?
There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re
sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a
little too far.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate
drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I
always hate bicyclists.
Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times
and still not know what time it is.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their
car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail
on the Donkey – but I’d bet my behind everyone can find and push
the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes
closed, first time, every time!
I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.